Scented Candles, Pilates, and Madonna. Ugh…

What’s up with the scented candles? Every girl’s house I walk into has not one but no short of a dozen strategically placed scented candles ranging from eucalyptus and jasmine to seashore night breeze scents. Now I understand the need to keeping the bathroom a pleasant scent, but the does the closet need it’s own fucking scented candle of autumn leaves and potatoes?! It has the same effect of walking through the Macy’s perfume department. It makes guy want to get out, fast.

Get a hobby. Shopping and pilates don’t count. No guy is impressed by shopping as a hobby. Pilates is what you’re supposed to do to look good. We don’t give a shit about that either. We’re impressed with the ultimate result; but trust me you will never have a conversation with a straight man about shopping. Do something cool that you can talk about. Try surfing, golf, photography, or archery. Something you can talk about that will set you apart from the rest of the bimbo’s at the bar. Guys will respect you for it, and you might even meet a couple guys doing it. My hairdresser is getting her helicopter license. I spent a half an hour talking to her about last time I was in there.

Learn some music besides Madonna. I’ve got no gripe against Madonna, but you won’t catch any guy willing to fuck to Madonna. Guys will be running. Come back at the end of a date, put on an old Rolling Stones album like “Let It Bleed,” and I bet guys will be calling you back. Go around asking 10 guys at the bar for their favorites albums, go home download and listen.